Unfortunately not all friendships make it…and in the end they teach you a lot. I’m sharing what failed friendships taught me about myself and people.
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We all have friends we hold near and dear to our hearts. But not all of them think of us the same way. And sometimes it’s time to let go and move on. It’s hard…but in the end these failed friendships end up teaching you so much about yourself.
What Failed Friendships Taught Me
I’ve always been envious of movie friendships…they’ve known each other for years, have weekly gatherings, chat nonstop…it’s something I used to have with a few girlfriends. But I don’t anymore. I don’t want this post to be sappy or as attention seeking…so let’s just get to the point. Friendships don’t always make it, it’s part of life. But it’s not something you always hear about. You might be friends all through High School and maybe even after that, but the reality is that life happens…people change and they move on.
I’ve never had large groups of friends, but the friends I did have, were pretty close. Soon after school everyone started having babies, getting married, etc. So things weren’t the same. I always tried to stay in touch though…reaching out for birthdays, random “how are you doing” messages, etc. But I eventually got burnt out. I got tired of showing up for friends who forgot my important days or moments. I started to feel like I was begging someone to be my friend.
Thankfully, while I was in nursing school I was so fortunate to make some wonderful friends…one friendship in particular opened my eyes. Stacy is fun-loving, carefree, hilarious and down to earth. Once we graduated nursing school and went our separate ways, I thought that would be it. I figured we would never see each other again, much less talk to each other.
But I was wrong. She taught me what real friendships are supposed to look like.
Fast-forward 10 years, we are still friends, make time for each other and lean on each other when needed. Stacy is a busy mom, wife, nurse and so much more…yet she still makes time for us. She doesn’t play the “sorry, I’ve been so busy” card…even though she is busy. We don’t live in the same town, but we still manage to plan girl days. She makes an effort. That’s when I realized…just like any relationship, it takes 2 people to make it work. If you want a good friend, you have to be a good friend.
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It may sound like I’m bitter. Trust me, I’m not. Failed friendships have taught me that REAL friends will make time for you. These types of friendships allowed me to see myself clearly — my codependence, my need for validation in the form of others, my insecurity that allowed me to keep going back to friends that did not value me and that I deserve better.
Have you ever experienced a failed friendship?
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